Curiouser and curiouser...

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton
"If you want something you’ve never had … - Imgur

"If you want something you’ve never had … - Imgur

One Size Fits All

  • (A man comes to the counter and places two dresses on the counter: one sized XS and one sized XXL.)
  • Me: “Are these dresses both for the same woman?”
  • Customer: “Yes.”
  • Me: “Oh, okay. These are both very different sizes, so they are not likely to fit the same person. What size does she usually take?”
  • Customer: “Um… I’m not sure.”
  • Manager: “Well, does she look more like me or more like her?”
  • (Note: my manager is quite small, and I am quite big.)
  • Customer: “Um… uh… I’m sure these will be fine.”
  • Me: “Sir, because the price is marked down on these dresses they will be Final Sale, so you will not be able to return them if they are not the right size. Are you sure we can’t help you?”
  • (The customer looks around furtively, then leans in close so that only my manager and I can hear what he is saying.)
  • Customer: “These dresses are for me, actually.”
  • (My manager looks at me, and I at her, and then she turns to the customer and speaks a very matter of fact voice.)
  • Manager: “Why don’t you go try them on, then?”
  • Customer: “Really? Would that be okay with you?”
  • Manager: “Of course! Let me get you started with a fitting room.”
  • (I spend the next hour bringing this man dresses to try on and he had a lovely time! He introduced himself to me and thanked us profusely for being so understanding and helpful. He left with four dresses, all of which fit him to a tee, and he came back regularly after that.)

"The light has gone out of my life"

image

Theodore Roosevelt was a shooting star — 5’8” of barely controlled frenzy. An energetic workaholic, familyaholic, and lifeaholic who lived every day of his relatively short life to its fullest and savored each and every battle throughout 60 busy years on Earth. As Thomas Riley Marshall,…

thecube42:

We’re all making Jack Frost and Frozen puns, but let’s be honest here:

Mr. Freeze did ‘em before it was… cool